how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
