dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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