i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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