i would punch a child for taco bell
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
