I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize