I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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