its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
