She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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