At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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