I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize