I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
