i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
