I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
