Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
