let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
