with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you inspire me to be a worse person
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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