i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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