Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
