Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is the high leading the old right now
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
