It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize