And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
