Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
