either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
