I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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