recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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