so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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