Im at strip club and am horny
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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