So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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