I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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