for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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