hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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