I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
