I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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