I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
