I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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