omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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