So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
