lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize