can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
