Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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