every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
