my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
