I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
