Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
