Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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