he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
