the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
