I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
