I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
