Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
