Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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