whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
