I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
