my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
