True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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