Who did Billy Mays play for?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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