Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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