yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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