gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
