Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize