You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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