New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
